Reclaiming Your Voice: The Sacred Act of Using Your Voice and Why the Universe Longs to Meet your Needs
For a long time, I lost my voice. Oh I spoke and I managed to talk seemingly without end. I laughed and I smiled. I communicated and participated in community. But I lost my voice! Something inside me was screaming. Something inside me was dying. When I chose to feebly attempt to use my voice and speak my needs, it was only a parody. I watched others use their voice and I created a believable copy that I could display proudly. A human artificial intelligence, a robot. The truest version of me forced to stay small.
What did I lose in my silence? I lost self-worth. I lost desire. I lost the ability to state my needs and have those needs met. And so, I therefore lost the ability to receive. My ability to accept the blessings waiting for me. It was not an cold time, or a dark time. It was not without beauty , and warmth, and light. But, it was with out voice, it was without self-guidance, it was without request.
I didn’t noticed when it left me. There was no gut-wrenching as it was torn from my soul. There was no pain as it left me. No sadness or longing. I didn't miss it, for I didn't realize it was gone. I try to think back to that time, to imagine a single instant when it faded like morning dew under a persistent, orange flaming sun. There is no moment. It was learned over time...Through experience. I allowed it to go, I welcomed it's flight. I learned to stay small. I learned to be quiet. To dim my light. I quieted it at first, asked it to not speak out. Held a trembling finger to my lips and whispered a soft shhhhhh. And…it listened. And it left. And, I didn't even notice. I didn't get to say goodbye.
How long can you silence yourself before your voice leaves? How long can you speak up fervently before you become only your voice? This is the balance on the way to oneness. For using your voice is a gentle act, your true voice knows only innocence. Your voice is pure and based on needs and desires.
Your voice was with you the first time air expanded your lungs and it rang out. And you were heard. What a miracle! Though you had no language, you were heard. Though you had no understanding, you were heard. This was the first time you voiced a need. This was the first time the universe met you there in your purity, unclothed, in divine vulnerability and it held you. It met your needs. It swaddled you and fed you. Your soul grew ten thousand times that day, because you had the simple gift of voice. That day, you did not consider using your voice. You did not weigh the risks. You did not hold back for fear of upsetting another being. You didn't over amplify your voice to make sure you were heard. You didn't change the pitch or modulate the tone. You just were. You existed in pure need and you were met there and the universe cared for you.
As we grew out of infancy, so too did our mind and our bodies. So too did our needs. Alas, life, in it's cosmic trickery, teaches us many things. We have accumulated the scars of existence. We have suffered many attacks great and small. We have been stifled. We have been quieted. Many have lost their voice. In childhood, we may have been told to quiet down. The librarian glared at us. The teacher told us to wait our turn. Our parents asked for silence. We were told to sit still at church. And in this, we were told to learn to suffer, to hold the quietness, to deny ourselves that which comes natural. We were told to hold back. To make ourselves small. To be silent observers. So then, in adulthood, something happened which is not too shocking, we silenced ourselves. We became the authority over our own silence. We replaced the external with our internal dialogue. We told ourselves to stay small, to go unnoticed. To find safety in this. We judged ourselves. Convinced ourselves that what we had to say was unworthy, stupid, wouldn't come out right, or wouldn't be well received. And, most devastatingly, in our outward silence we also quieted the inner voice. Our connection to spirit and Source.
How did we forget the purity of our newborn self? How did we so quickly we believe our adult story. We lost that voice and with it we lost our ability to listen. To listen inward. To understand our needs. For the needs that are left unexpressed grow quiet... Yes they may explode within us at first but ultimately they dim... They grow tired of not being heard. So one more decibel is lost, one more instrument in the symphony disappears.
We were not born to be small, we were not born to be quiet. We were born of the Unity. We came from oneness, from the loudest of all, from everything. Our spirit is bigger and louder than anything our body can contain. Our spirit flies free over the ocean, through the forest. Our spirit goes to deep space and returns in an instant. Our spirit carries all of the sound that has ever been and ever will be.
Let your voice be amplified! Reclaim your voice. Search for what is lost and allow it to return to you like an old friend. Become untethered and let your beautiful voice be heard. Connect to your needs and let them sing! Allow the universe to meet you where you are as you wail. Let your earthly community wail with you. And it will meet you, and we will meet you. The oneness searches for you just as your search for it. The oneness longs for you just as your long for it.
Let the great promise escape your lungs! Let it be known that the universe will meet you, care for you, and provide for you just as it has since you emerged from the womb. And let this prayer be the return of your voice!
